Already, the daffodils and hyacinths have blessed us with their cheerful faces. Soon, our yard will release it's wonders of roses and peonies, herbs and flowering plants whose names I've forgotten. The leaves will sprout forth with their tiny red and green buds...some unfurling into spring-green, (my most favorite color in the whole wide world), lacey leaves. The pond will need cleaning so the fish emerging from winter semi-hibernation can enjoy themselves, and the air will take on that balmy feel and smell one only finds when living near the sea in springtime. Oh...I can hardly wait!
Yesterday, Sr. Chief and I turned an entire section of our back yard into what is going to be a "Back-to-Eden" garden. (Scroll down to see the inspiring video!) In-between jobs, I raked (and raked and raked) gumballs from our infamous Sweet Gum a.k.a."gumball" tree...Well, it's really ours AND our neighbors. We all hate it. Yes, I did use the strong word 'hate' there. But really, I've tried for ten years to figure out why God made gumballs and the answer is yet to come. I have satisfied myself with the fact that He's concerned about my health and therefore blows them off the tree into my yard so I'll get a jumpstart on my spring exercise. Yes, that's a bit over the edge in 'it's all about me' thinking, but... If that was His plan, it worked.
But back to the Back-to-Eden garden...the whole concept is almost more exciting than than the approach of warmer weather. Almost. So, following the advice given in the video, we scouted out a place to get mulch and compost and FOUND a state facility within a half hour's ride! The mulch there is certified clean, comes in a variety of sizes and even non-toxic colors, and the operation is impressively and efficiently run...at a third of the cost of local nurseries. Yes. We were greatly impressed.
Now, you want to know about how God works sometimes? We have two vehicles, neither of which is a truck. (We NEED a TRUCK!...) ...but Sr. Chief was training out of town Friday and on his way back through Richmond, he thought to ask his brother if we could borrow his trailer...our van does have a hitch for our camper. So, he came home surprising me with a trailer full of compost that he also picked up on the way home!
Who knew a lady could get so excited about dirt? (But I still carry lipgloss in my pocket, girlies!)
We drove to pick up the mulch early yesterday, came home and laid newspaper where needed, added about 2 inches of compost and 3-4 inches of fine mulch over that. We agree that in order to do as the experts say to do, we'll need to get at least an inch of regular mulch to cover that just because the mulch we got is so beautifully fine it will compost pretty fast...The weather can turn hot and humid here in an instant and the larger mulch will be needed to hold in water and keep those roots cool once the plants get started. But for now, I know we're safe.
Because today, here in the southeastern corner of Virginia, after raining coldly most of the day, the rain turned to sleet and then...it snowed. Oh, yes, it did.
I'm trying to keep my chin up and regard it as a nice, cozy blanket for the garden...Just a little something to help it out, and truth be told, I'm probably right. Still, I'm not really too happy about it.
But I did have a paper to edit.
And I was tired from gardening yesterday, three hours of music rehearsal yesterday afternoon, church yesterday evening, (our church meets on Saturdays and no we're not in a Jewish congregation, although I love God's chosen), and PORT* yesterday evening-evening.
And Senior needed to work on his school paperwork today, too. (Yes, people do think and study and even go to school after 50!)
And I still need to at least vacuum as dog hair is gathering in the carpet...I'll do that in the morning.
The point is, I'm excited, but I am a habitual over-doer so even though I know the snow's not really all about me, I think there's a chance that it could be some about me. Because if God knows the number of hairs on my head, (and He does), and if His thoughts of me are greater than the grains of sand on the beaches, (and they are), and if He is serious about coming unto Him all us who are weary, (and He is)....then there's no doubt that this nasty weather had something to do with keeping me indoors, resting by the fireplace and only taxing myself enough to drink tea while editing a paper.
I even settled back for a 'Facebook Session'.
Honestly, this type of garden does need to sit a bit before planting...We are creating ours along the format of the family in Gettysburg, Pennsylvania...Their climate is more similar to ours than those across the country.
And we haven't even decided which seeds to plant yet...although I'm getting a very good idea.
But I sure did like the smell of that dirt and mulch yesterday...
Ok, so this isn't it...I didn't take a picture...but it's similar!
In my time of recuperation, and yes, although I am back to child-care, I am still recuperating, as hormonal changes that go hand-in-hand with the Master Gland do take time. So, on my days off of child-care, I am tending to the things of my home, but not at road-runner pace. My husband and I are rising early and taking walks...Sometimes around the perimeter of the back yard to peruse the needs of the day there, and sometimes, like today, we seek private beaches.
Today, we found one. Don't know how long it will remain private, but at , it was still private and probably will be for some time.
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I have also been helping hubby with his school work. We were so blessed, when his company lost its contract and the new one down-sized, leaving him without a job, to have a C.G. retirement to help, as well as a military bill allowing him to return to school...not only paid, but with a small stipend as well. Between these and our slowly growing CPR/AED, First Aid Training/Certification, Child and Babysitter Training/Certification, and now, OSHA medical office re-training...otherwise known as "Land to Sea Health and Safety Training", we have been able to more than 'make it'. Not that it hasn't been tight at times, and we are still looking forward to that day when we aren't holding our breath waiting for this or that institution to 'make good' on payment, but it has been bearable and though we've had to tighten our belts in many aspects, it has not been terrible by any means.
In helping hubby w/schoolwork, I mean editing papers, discussing ideas and thoughts for those papers...being a sounding board with some input, I guess you'd say. I like helping him.
But I really am trying to take my days and order into them plenty of relaxation, and sometimes, it's not really relaxing trying to create relaxation! Ha! It's somewhat amazing the stress it can cause if I'm doggedly pushing towards that time of relaxation...so, I am trying, even in that, to relax.
So, today, I finished the dishes and went to straighten the deck. We just got a new hibiscus and Jim put it out at the pond, so I went to inspect it. Then, I remembered the fish needed feeding...They are somewhat ravenous in the summer. I don't like to feed them too much because I know they're good mosquito larvae eaters, but I feed them nonetheless, because it makes them friendly towards humans. I kid you not; they are so gentle now that they will 'kiss' your toes, if you dare allow it. I love to get them to this point because I love to watch the reactions of the grandkids as they thrill, giggle and squeal at the little pecks upon their feet.
In days gone by, when we first moved here, prepared the pond, built the bridge and stocked the pond with fish, I spent many hours on the bridge, using this location for my 'quiet time' with God. Times changed, I got super busy with family needs, the old Victorian next door was renovated and we got neighbors who could easily see me over my fence from their home...and my pond time dwindled.
But during my illness, as I began to recover and venture outdoors again, I rediscovered the pond's allure. I have decided to take back my time there, and re-enter the peaceful land that was given me in the first place. Before sickness brought oppression, I caught the desire to create anew the refuge our back yard had once been, before my husband's sickness and our new life's extreme busy-ness took over. (FYI, my hubby is much, much better now!!)
Once upon a time, we thought we were creating a refuge for people worn out from ministry...and I still harbor the hope that this is something we will one day be able to provide for others. Perhaps these strange illnesses have had some purpose in allowing us insight to what the weary need. Still, never in my wildest dreams did I suppose we were creating a refuge that would one day be used for our own convalescence, mine in particular. Years ago, we were able, by the grace of God to transform the yard into something of unusual beauty, but with hole-digging dogs, a venture with back-yard chickens, and our own lack of time and health, over the past year...and actually, a bit more...it had lost its luster. Before this strange sickness, (but in the end, with a simple if slow fix), sent me to bed, I shared my hope with my husband to refurbish the yard so we, and others, could again take great pleasure from it. He wholeheartedly agreed and we began in earnest as far back as early March.
By the time I was 'overtaken', the yard had become beautiful again...not quite to the level of its former glory, but quite pleasant just the same, and as before, the pond and its surrounding garden became the focal point. I had no idea God was planning to use that as part of my healing, but He knew...oh, yes, He did.
"'For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the Lord.’They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.'" ~Jeremiah 29:11 (NLT)
Bedroom View
By the time I became bedridden, I was able to spend my 'down-time' propped up in front of my bedroom window, looking out over the beauty that had developed over the former months. We even removed the bottom half of the cafe curtains so I could better see, and during the day, raised the blinds as high as they would go. Off and on through the day, as my temperature abated, I would feel strong enough to sit up in bed and look out. When I wasn't strong enough, I could lie and still see the green leaves of the trees waving...as if remembering me and reminding me that they cared...God cared. During the worst of the illness, we had a weather break and the temperature during the day never rose out of the 70's...so the windows were open and I could hear the birds during the day, the toads singing at the pond at night. Indeed, God knew my tiniest desires and helped me...holding me by the hand, just as He promised.
"For I am the Lord, your God, who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, Do not fear; I will help you." ~Isaiah 41:13~ (NIV)
And as grateful as I was for all of that, and more, I was still antsy to be out in it rather than watching through a window. I'm sure you know what I mean.
The work of a loving husband.
And after a while, I was able. My dear, DEAR husband set up a lounge chair with a beach umbrella and small table...right beside the pond so I could hear its cheerful waters. At first, I couldn't sit there more than 15 minutes or so, but after some time, I was able to walk around without my legs feeling like concrete, losing my breath, and having my heart pound ridiculously in my chest. Then, I found I could bend to pull a weed here or there, feed the pond fish...and I knew I was well on my way the day I fertilized every plant in the back yard. It was ALL I did that day, but I did it and didn't nearly die afterwards, so I knew recovery was upon me!
And in this past week, I have, as I said earlier, begun to watch the grandchildren again. Those days are long, but I love being with them and making crafts, going to a museum or just hanging out. But I knew I needed to rest when I could and taking time alone on the pond's bridge in the mornings became the perfect way to begin a 'rest-aware' day. That's when I started naming the fish...and today, I think I finished.
I have named 15 of them...
Big Freckles, Little Freckles, Motley, Halo 1, Halo 2, Albie, Pinto, Watercolor Baby, Mohawk, Spotted Mohawk, Mohawk Flame, Tangie, Carrot Top, Carrot Top, Jr., and Paleface. In addition, there are 5 that blend in with the bottom of the pond...I call them, 'The Camo League', and then the orange ones that cannot be distinguished from one another...They are 'The Golden Girls'.
"...and whatever the man called each living creature, that was its name." ~Genesis ~ (NIV)
Some of the fish at feeding time.
I thank God from the bottom of my heart for giving me the time to do this. The energy to do this. The ability to be at home as I fully recoup...I am not at all unaware of how blessed I am to have this ability, especially in this day of economic uncertainty.
I sure am glad I serve a God of certainty...I don't know how long I will be able to live as I do today...It could all change tomorrow, I know. But I am certain God will give me whatever I need in the days to come. For now, I take it, with complete gratefulness, one day at a time. There is rest in that, alone.
"Therefore, do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." ~Matthew ~ NIV
So...are you etching at least a little time of rest into your day?
Tip: Once you do make time, know this: It's always better if you rest in the companionship of the Holy Spirit.
This is a piece of our Contemplating Garden. It is, in fact, an inherited pond. It came with the house. It is cement and when we first saw it, our immediate response was to plan a jackhammering event as soon as possible. Sometimes, I still feel that way-sort of. Maybe not the jackhammering part, but in a get-rid-of-the-work sort of way. Especially in the early spring months, when it seems there is an endless amount of debris from old leaves, grass and even flowers. All of which must be cleaned out with a rake. A shovel. A siphoning tube.
The cleaning takes weeks because even after the debris is gone, there is the fresh algae bloom and once that's cared for, there is the brown water. We have 'good bacteria' tablets that are tossed into the water, but we must be patient for them to do their work. There is a quick route to clarity of water, but this is a temporary fix...good for parties that occur before the tablets work their 'magic', but otherwise, pretty much useless.
The water of the pond drops from a top pool into two lower pools before cascading via a homemade waterfall into the main body of the pond. We have thought to turn this system into something smaller and simpler. The contemplation was to fill in the lower pond with cement, perhaps embedding mosaic tile into the new floor, and then make the little pools recycle water through themselves so we could still have the sound and sight of water.
If it weren't for my love our pond fish, I think we would have done this -and the possibility remains that we yet will-sometime far into the future when our backs can not longer handle the strain of pond cleaning.
But today, I am glad we took the 'stay with it' option. For seven years, we have planted, raked, sown seed, painted over the old aquamarine blue (ugh!) a former owner used, tended fish, de-mosquitoed, and yes, cleaned this pond. We have watched the 'wild' vines begin to grow up its blob-like form, allowing them to remain just to see if we like the final product.
We did. They first made it look like a verdant hill of life, then blessed us with small white flowers in the early fall...We call it Fall Jasmine because it is prolific and has a glorious smell like Jasmine. (If it is not Jasmine, I have decided that it should be.)
Jim's addition of a bridge allowed us, and all visitors, to dangle toes in cool summer water, giggling as we wait for fish and tadpoles to kiss our toes. It also gave a place for contemplating and praying...for weeping and thinking, deciding and finding peace.
As the glory of the pond garden has evolved over the years, our love of things growing has expanded into the rest of our yard. More on that another time, but the point is, our not giving in to the easier way...the road more travelled...has ended by giving us an ever-growing blessing of earthly paradise.
I want to share something sent to me via e-mail. But first, I want to share a little something else...
I was visiting friends who had recently purchased a new Century home in the country. The previous owners had created a gorgeous and elaborate English Garden in their back yard. I am still of the conviction that the garden would make an ideal spot for weddings.
The precious family now residing in the home are all hard workers and believe strongly in sustainable living. As I regarded their garden in the company of the eldest daughter, she remarked that yes, it was beautiful, but not really of any value. At this statement, I gently, but passionately stated that this thinking was mistaken thinking.
While I believe there is no plant on earth that cannot be used medicinally or nutritionally, I also believe that the the One Who Created all things did so out of His joy of creating and out of His delight in bringing His created delight.
This is why my friend's garden is a treasure. This is why my husband and I plant new, flowering plants year after year. Why we grow a garden. Why we feed the birds and take joy in watching the antics of the squirrels that raid the feeders and baby bunnies that we know will partake of part of our garden's fruit. (They prefer the clover growing so freely among our grass, which is why we'll probably never try to cultivate the totally perfect lawn.) It is the reason we spend hours cleaning and caring for a small pond that houses tadpoles and various small fish. Why we mourn when the Great Blue Heron visits there unexpectedly for breakfast. It is the reason we allow finches to build nests in our hanging ferns. Why we wait expectantly for the baby robins to hatch and eventually leave the nest they repeatedly use in the Jasmine right beside our front door. Why we open the bedroom window a crack in the spring to listen to the night sounds of singing frogs and chorusing crickets.
Beauty is the reason. The beauty of life. Of things living. Of God's Creation. We relax in His beauty, knowing that we could save money and certainly time, by not 'indulging'. But somehow, I feel in my heart, that God is happy about our happiness with His World.
Did you know that it has been proven that the color green is calming? It is. And isn't it amazing how much green God put into the world? Like He knew, (of course He did), that we would need green. But he also inserted scads of beauty into His world and without scientific research, I'm pretty sure that someone could prove, scientifically even, that mankind needs beauty. Not to merely exist, but to thrive within our existing.
Jesus said He came to give life. But He didn't stop there...He continued by saying that it was His desire to give life abundantly. With the multitude of problems every human faces every day, we forget about the ok-ness of living in abundance.
And we don't have to have yards, gardens, hanging plants and bird feeders to enjoy His abundance...but if we want them, I believe with all within me that it's ok. There are boundaries, of course...we need to be sure we aren't feeding the birds if we're not feeding our children, for instance. But to live with guilt over loving God's Creation...that sort of thinking comes from the enemy of our spirits.
Perhaps you can understand, then, how happy I was to find the following in my e-mail:
Simone Weil was absolutely right-beauty and affliction are the only two things that can pierce our hearts. Because this is so true, we must have a measure of beauty in our lives proportionate to our affliction. No, more. Much more. Is this not God's prescription for us? Just take a look around. The sights and sounds, the aromas and sensations-the world is overflowing with beauty. God seems to be rather enamored with it. Gloriously wasteful. Apparently, he feels that there ought to be plenty of it in our lives. I am at a loss to say what I want to say regarding beauty. Somehow, that is as it ought to be. Our experience of beauty transcends our ability to speak about it, for its magic lies beyond the power of words. I want to speak of beauty's healing power, of how it comforts and soothes, yet also how it stirs us, how it moves and inspires. All that sounds ridiculous. You know your own experiences of beauty. Let me call upon them then. Think of your favorite music, or tapestry, or landscape. "We have had a couple of inspiring sunsets this week." A dear friend sent this in an e-mail: "It was as if the seams of our atmosphere split for a bit of heaven to plunge into the sea. I stood and applauded . . . simultaneously I wanted to kneel and weep." Yes-that's it. All I want to do is validate those irreplaceable moments, lift any obstacle you may have to filling your life with greater and greater amounts of beauty. We need not fear indulging here. The experience of beauty is unique to all the other pleasures in this: there is no possessive quality to it. Just because you love the landscape doesn't mean you have to acquire the real estate. Simply to behold the flower is enough; there is nothing in me that wants to consume it. Beauty is the closest thing we have to fullness without possessing on this side of eternity. It heralds the Great Restoration. Perhaps that is why it is so healing-beauty is pure gift. It helps us in our letting go. (Desire , 191-92)
Ahh...SPRING...??
Now, you want to know about how God works sometimes? We have two vehicles, neither of which is a truck. (We NEED a TRUCK!...)
Honestly, this type of garden does need to sit a bit before planting...We are creating ours along the format of the family in Gettysburg, Pennsylvania...Their climate is more similar to ours than those across the country.
