The Weston A. Price Way

Friday, June 29, 2012

Fish Naming Therapy? Yes.

Ok, so this isn't it...I didn't take a picture...but it's similar!

In my time of recuperation, and yes, although I am back to child-care, I am still recuperating, as hormonal changes that go hand-in-hand with the Master Gland do take time. So, on my days off of child-care, I am tending to the things of my home, but not at road-runner pace. My husband and I are rising early and taking walks...Sometimes around the perimeter of the back yard to peruse the needs of the day there, and sometimes, like today, we seek private beaches.
Today, we found one. Don't know how long it will remain private, but at , it was still private and probably will be for some time.

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 I have also been helping hubby with his school work. We were so blessed, when his company lost its contract and the new one down-sized, leaving him without a job, to have a C.G. retirement to help, as well as a military bill allowing him to return to school...not only paid, but with a small stipend as well. Between these and our slowly growing CPR/AED, First Aid Training/Certification, Child and Babysitter Training/Certification, and now, OSHA medical office re-training...otherwise known as "Land to Sea Health and Safety Training", we have been able to more than 'make it'. Not that it hasn't been tight at times, and we are still looking forward to that day when we aren't holding our breath waiting for this or that institution to 'make good' on payment, but it has been bearable and though we've had to tighten our belts in many aspects, it has not been terrible by any means.

In helping hubby w/schoolwork, I mean editing papers, discussing ideas and thoughts for those papers...being a sounding board with some input, I guess you'd say. I like helping him.

But I really am trying to take my days and order into them plenty of relaxation, and sometimes, it's not really relaxing trying to create relaxation! Ha! It's somewhat amazing the stress it can cause if I'm doggedly pushing towards that time of, I am trying, even in that, to relax.

So, today, I finished the dishes and went to straighten the deck. We just got a new hibiscus and Jim put it out at the pond, so I went to inspect it. Then, I remembered the fish needed feeding...They are somewhat ravenous in the summer. I don't like to feed them too much because I know they're good mosquito larvae eaters, but I feed them nonetheless, because it makes them friendly towards humans. I kid you not; they are so gentle now that they will 'kiss' your toes, if you dare allow it. I love to get them to this point because I love to watch the reactions of the grandkids as they thrill, giggle and squeal at the little pecks upon their feet.

In days gone by, when we first moved here, prepared the pond, built the bridge and stocked the pond with fish, I spent many hours on the bridge, using this location for my 'quiet time' with God. Times changed, I got super busy with family needs, the old Victorian next door was renovated and we got neighbors who could easily see me over my fence from their home...and my pond time dwindled.

But during my illness, as I began to recover and venture outdoors again, I rediscovered the pond's allure. I have decided to take back my time there, and re-enter the peaceful land that was given me in the first place. Before sickness brought oppression, I caught the desire to create anew the refuge our back yard had once been, before my husband's sickness and our new life's extreme busy-ness took over. (FYI, my hubby is much, much better now!!)

Once upon a time, we thought we were creating a refuge for people worn out from ministry...and I still harbor the hope that this is something we will one day be able to provide for others. Perhaps these strange illnesses have had some purpose in allowing us insight to what the weary need. Still, never in my wildest dreams did I suppose we were creating a refuge that would one day be used for our own convalescence, mine in particular. Years ago, we were able, by the grace of God to transform the yard into something of unusual beauty, but with hole-digging dogs, a venture with back-yard chickens, and our own lack of time and health, over the past year...and actually, a bit had lost its luster. Before this strange sickness, (but in the end, with a simple if slow fix), sent me to bed, I shared my hope with my husband to refurbish the yard so we, and others, could again take great pleasure from it. He wholeheartedly agreed and we began in earnest as far back as early March.

By the time I was 'overtaken', the yard had become beautiful again...not quite to the level of its former glory, but quite pleasant just the same, and as before, the pond and its surrounding garden became the focal point. I had no idea God was planning to use that as part of my healing, but He knew...oh, yes, He did.

"'For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the Lord.’They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.'" ~Jeremiah 29:11 (NLT)

Bedroom View
 By the time I became bedridden, I was able to spend my 'down-time' propped up in front of my bedroom window, looking out over the beauty that had developed over the former months. We even removed the bottom half of the cafe curtains so I could better see, and during the day, raised the blinds as high as they would go. Off and on through the day, as my temperature abated, I would feel strong enough to sit up in bed and look out. When I wasn't strong enough, I could lie and still see the green leaves of the trees if remembering me and reminding me that they cared...God cared. During the worst of the illness, we had a weather break and the temperature during the day never rose out of the 70' the windows were open and I could hear the birds during the day, the toads singing at the pond at night. Indeed, God knew my tiniest desires and helped me...holding me by the hand, just as He promised.

"For I am the Lord, your God, who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, Do not fear; I will help you." ~Isaiah 41:13~ (NIV)

And as grateful as I was for all of that, and more, I was still antsy to be out in it rather than watching through a window. I'm sure you know what I mean.

The work of a loving husband.
 And after a while, I was able. My dear, DEAR husband set up a lounge chair with a beach umbrella and small table...right beside the pond so I could hear its cheerful waters. At first, I couldn't sit there more than 15 minutes or so, but after some time, I was able to walk around without my legs feeling like concrete, losing my breath, and having my heart pound ridiculously in my chest. Then, I found I could bend to pull a weed here or there, feed the pond fish...and I knew I was well on my way the day I fertilized every plant in the back yard. It was ALL I did that day, but I did it and didn't nearly die afterwards, so I knew recovery was upon me!

And in this past week, I have, as I said earlier, begun to watch the grandchildren again. Those days are long, but I love being with them and making crafts, going to a museum or just hanging out. But I knew I needed to rest when I could and taking time alone on the pond's bridge in the mornings became the perfect way to begin a 'rest-aware' day. That's when I started naming the fish...and today, I think I finished.

I have named 15 of them...

Big Freckles, Little Freckles, Motley, Halo 1, Halo 2, Albie, Pinto, Watercolor Baby, Mohawk, Spotted Mohawk, Mohawk Flame, Tangie, Carrot Top, Carrot Top, Jr., and Paleface. In addition, there are 5 that blend in with the bottom of the pond...I call them, 'The Camo League', and then the orange ones that cannot be distinguished from one another...They are 'The Golden Girls'.

"...and whatever the man called each living creature, that was its name." ~Genesis ~ (NIV)

Some of the fish at feeding time.

I thank God from the bottom of my heart for giving me the time to do this. The energy to do this. The ability to be at home as I fully recoup...I am not at all unaware of how blessed I am to have this ability, especially in this day of economic uncertainty.

I sure am glad I serve a God of certainty...I don't know how long I will be able to live as I do today...It could all change tomorrow, I know. But I am certain God will give me whatever I need in the days to come. For now, I take it, with complete gratefulness, one day at a time. There is rest in that, alone.

"Therefore, do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." ~Matthew ~ NIV

So...are you etching at least a little time of rest into your day?
Tip: Once you do make time, know this: It's always better if you rest in the companionship of the Holy Spirit.

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